Professional Self-Care

Offering support to grieving students and their families can be highly gratifying. School professionals are offering vital support during a critical time in a student’s life. 

But this can be challenging, too. Powerful emotions are difficult to witness, and the grief of a child can be especially unsettling. Educators may find their own past experiences of loss activated by a student’s grief. They may develop new worries about an illness in themselves, a friend or a family member. They may experience new apprehension about their own or others’ mortality. 

Sometimes, school professionals are uncomfortable providing support for grieving children. They may believe they are unprepared or have too many other stressful experiences in their lives at the moment. This can lead to feelings of guilt for “not doing better,” or a sense of insufficiency for not being more prepared. These are fairly common reactions. In some cases, it may be best for an educator to turn to someone else on the team to step into the support role. 

It is important for educators to get support themselves when they are interacting with grieving students. Talking with friends, family and colleagues is usually helpful. Sometimes, it is also useful to speak with a mental health professional, bereavement specialist, or employee assistance program.