Funeral Attendance

Generally, after the death of a family member or close friend, it’s better for children to attend the funeral or memorial service. Children feel included, can be comforted by family and friends, and may gain support from the family’s spiritual community. 

School personnel are in a unique position to offer guidance to the family. They are sometimes the only professionals communicating with families before the funeral. They can help families understand how to prepare and support children. This includes steps such as explaining to children what will happen, answering their questions, and letting them decide what they wish to do.

Most families appreciate members of the school community attending the funeral or memorial service. When educators attend, they show caring and concern. The student is more likely to see those attending as safe to talk to in the future. Some families, however, prefer more private events, so it’s important for schools to check with the family.

School policies can facilitate the attendance of interested students and staff at a funeral or memorial service. This might include matters such as setting guidelines for attendance during school hours (parental permission, release time from classes), avoiding use of school buildings for viewings and funeral services, and being sure students and staff do not feel obligated to attend.